I’m sure you’re feeling great about yourself—and your relationship—after completing our Seven Day Challenge, Part One.
We’re going to Get into Action with Part Two!
I can’t wait to hear how connected you feel, and how incredibly loving and happy your partner has become. (That’s all I need to know, thank you!)
You’ll definitely learn something new—and get ideas—just from reading this inspirational guest post by Lou Paget. (Have you ever heard of the SWIRL?)
Click here if you missed our Seven Day Challenge, Part One and you’re wondering what this has to do with OrnaBakes!
Part Two begins this Wednesday, October 23rd.
Join our discussion on Facebook, Twitter, and G+.
Try making Fabio’s Mom’s Meatballs together, to get you in the mood for Day 4—on Saturday!
Here’s to an extraordinary week…
xoxo
Seven Day Sex Challenge, Part Two: The Let’s Get Practical
By Lou Paget
Let’s be honest, you can think about things all day long, that often leads to paralysis by analysis. Even meditation requires action after the stillness. I’m paraphrasing a Mother Teresa quote, “Prayer without action is no prayer at all.” Here I am going to share some of the best ideas that Great Lovers shared with me in my Couples book, The Great Lover Playbook. (Giveaway details below.)
First, one must realize that Falling in Love sex is not the same as Being in Love sex, yet one does not take away from the other. They build on one another and many people and couples speak of the cycles of loving and falling in love on a regular basis.
Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity speaks of how couples are most drawn to their spouse or partner when they are away or they are apart, when from a comfortable distance they observe her being in her element, being radiant and confident, and then when they are surprised by what she/ he looks like. No shock that brides want to knock their future husbands off their feet as she comes to their ceremony. That mental download powerfully sets a desire cycle for them both. Wonder why they show a couple in evening attire in ads? Men in tuxes move women’s libidos.
So let’s get started with your Week 2 activities. And FYI – if you want to do days 1, 2, & 3 all at once, have at it. I have structured it to be respectful of tight timetables.
Review your Benchmark from Week 1. Give yourself kudos for getting to Week 2.
Day 1: You are going to practice the SWIRL. This is using your fingertips or lightly stroking your nails in a continuous irregular wavy pattern on their arms, legs, back, palms of their hands, their head. Anywhere you want. The beauty of this move is you can do it in public. So why the Swirl? People are touch starved; especially men. The Swirl will stimulate you and your partner’s largest sexual organ, your skin. And this a form of intimacy only you can give to one another. There are fewer and fewer things that are the sole purview of committed partners, and sex and touching tend to be it. It is your privilege, Swirl away. Can be the start for a full body massage.
Day 2: Kiss the way you want. Kissing is often one of the first things to drop off between committed partners, yet for many women it is the kissing that gets their engine running. So here is how to guide a partner without them feeling judged and you feeling like a sexual traffic cop. Step 1: Kiss them the way you love, less tongue more lips whatever your nerve endings prefer. Step 2: Stop, look at them, tell them how much you love kissing and then ask them to show you what it feels like to be kissed by you. Repeat Steps 1 & 2 as needed.
Day 3: Practice giving a full body hug as you leave one another in the AM and immediately when you see one another again in PM. And I mean a full breast squishing hug, not the polite two point shoulder hug. Why? Remember I said we are touch starved? When a woman goes into a man’s space and hugs him, that is a completely different dynamic than when a man enters a woman’s. Also after a full day of ‘slaying dragons’ most people who work full time need some de-stress time and a hug can be the trigger for that.
Day 4: Plan for some Spontaneous Sex. Truly Spontaneous Sex is a myth. Spontaneous Sex is planned. Vacation sex, holiday sex, Saturday night sex, date night sex. We all know that at some point something is likely to happen and we act accordingly. You need to ensure you have the intimacy that supports and fuels you, so plan away. Also, the more you set those thoughts into place the greater your anticipation.
Day 5: Look at What Might Be Getting in Your Way of Connecting. Time? Schedules? Work? Here’s the deal, if you don’t make your connection a priority, no one else will. And kids will very happily take all your time, money, and space if you let them. This is about putting you higher up your priority list. Need a lock on your bedroom door? Workable one in your bathroom? Bathroom??? Yes, bathroom; that is where many couples in the shower find their only alone time, and they can take care of one another and be squeaky clean at the same time. Now you know why vibrators are water resistant—for many mothers it is their only private place.
Day 6: Attention, Attention, Attention. Positive attention to your partner is truly your most seductive behavior. Hands down this the #1 thing that keeps relationships connected. When people feel acknowledged and that they are appreciated, they then typically move into the Respect cycle. And I know showing your partner respect, being respectful of your partner to be one of the most powerful ways to Teflon a marriage or relationship from problems. So think of how you can let them know, “Hey, thanks for getting the stir fry it was tasty”, “Great latte this morning, thanks.” Let them know you’ve noticed and it made your day better.
Day 7: Bring in Something New. Want to know your partner’s fantasy. As Halloween is coming up, ask what they’d wear to a party and what they see you wearing. Given the massive impact of Fifty Shades of Grey, more couples are wanting to explore new attitudes and mental states. Trust me I don’t know of one relationship made or saved by a vibrator or some lingerie. What I have seen is the new frame of mind partner’s see one another with when they push their boundaries. That is the tension created by the new unknown them.
Benchmark your thoughts and Congratulations on completing the 2 Cycle 7 Day Challenge!
*****
{Giveaway} One lucky reader will get a signed copy of The Great Lover Playbook
To enter The Great Lover Playbook Giveaway (US only)
1) Like OrnaBakes and Lou Paget on Facebook.
2) Let us know by commenting below or on OrnaBakes on Facebook, Twitter, or G+ that you’re participating.
3) Provide feedback on how the challenge impacted how you felt about yourself and your body image, or just helped your relationship. (This can be emailed privately or shared in the comments section, or on Social Media.)
4) Winner will be announced on Friday, November 1st
One Response
Great information. Part two. I am really enjoying this!!